Why is it with death, we have so many decisions to make? Cremation or not, interment or scatter, donate organs or not, what type of service, what cemetery and what to say on the tombstone. I have now visted three cemeteries. The first one is very local and beautiful, but the flush markers are so close together that the kids could use them to play hopscotch. The second cemetery is pretty, has flush markers but is not as beautiful as the first. It will do though. Now the third. My MIL suggested this one because I had mentioned wanting an above ground memorial. The cemetery is owned by her church and is very old. It dates back to the 1800's. She and my FIL went to visit it a few weeks ago. I have been putting her off until today. They fell in love with it stating that it reminded her of home, aka. West Virginia. They want to buy two plots as well, if I choose to bury him there. First off, my husband NEVER wanted to be buried in West Virginia. Second, it's old and not very well kept. The only thing that had me considering it is my 7 year old daughter. She wants a tombstone like my Nana. I get it. So, I am doing the diplomatic thing and taking the girls to see both cemeteries on the way to Mom and Dad's on Sunday.
Personally, I feel like she has cornered me into this. I did tell her that it was the kids final decision. She had best not be sneaky. Do I have the right to bury him where I want? Where I feel comfortable buring him? I don't want to rock the boat, but come on lady. Next she'll tell me what to put on the memorial. NOT! I'm so sad and so angry all at the same time. My selfish little teenage self says to bury him in the 2nd cemetery. It's pretty and doable. The other part of me says, well, will it matter in 99 years? NO. I don't want her to win either. This is my life. He spent 12 years married to me and 7 more dating. He is my husband. He lived with me. He is the father of my children. I have a say. I have a say.
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